Toddlers throw fits and that's okay.

I know, I know. How could I say that it's okay for a toddler to throw a fit in the middle of the grocery store because they can't have mouthwash. To me, everyone has a tantrum no matter what the age is but as we get older we learn how to deal with what upsets us. That's why toddlers are so bad sometimes.

When toddlers get upset it's normally because someone told them no or something didn't go their way. They react by crying or acting out because they don't understand why something didn't go their way. They don't know how to process our reasoning completely and they don't know how to put their feelings into words yet. They express how they feel through their feelings because that what they have done since they took their first breath in this world. Hungry? Cry. Happy? Laugh. Mess in their diaper? Whine. This age for kids is confusing because they are understanding how to express themselves but at the same time their emotions are overpowering their thoughts. The trick for us parents is finding how our kids operate. We need to figure out what calms them down, how to get them to understand as best as they can, and how to punish them in a safe, appropriate way that they understand.

At the start of my daughters tantrum stage, I was just as lost and confused as she was with how to deal with what was happening. Do I raise my voice? Do I threaten to take a toy away? Would she stop crying if I spanked her butt? At this point when my daughter is throwing a fit because she cant have a toy and she is flailing and screaming I try to hug and love on her until she gets calmed down. After she calms down, I get her attention and explain to her why she didn't get her way. Most of the time she understands and is better. When she does something bad, smacking her butt doesn't work. Time outs are more effective on her. I've learned this through trial and error- I've thought about the kind of person she is and how she operates and used those things to direct how I should deal with her when she can't control her emotions. Yes, there are times that loving on her doesn't work so I let her do her thing until she calms herself down. It's a work in progress and I imagine our methods will keep evolving as she gets bigger.

No one said parenting was going to be easy. In fact, we were told it was going to be difficult so we have to suck it up, pray for more sanity and the ability to stay calm during our children's breakdowns. But these won't last forever, we just have to love our babies during these difficult times because one day we may miss the good moments that will come out of this stage in their lives.